Ode to Abalone

Andre, the Boulevardier

lifts up a stiff Negroni,

And makes this toast: “Pride of the Coast!

All hail the Abalone!”

A toothsome treat for Gastronomes

and all their tony cronies.

Prepared sashimi-style its known

to banish acrimony!

Serve butter-seared, your guests will cheer,

so moved they might get poemy;

Great chefs all hail the holy grail

of snails, the Abalone!


But not wild-sourced! A law’s in force!

From aqua-farmers only,

who love their coast and are good hosts,

to slow-grown Abalone.


As Trevor Fay in Monterey,

down by the bay has shown me,

A crowded tray’s a proud display

Of lovely Abalone.


And in a sort of snail resort,

that Gastropods find homey,

Tom Ebert down in Davenport

attends his Abalone. 

So skip the lobster or filet

for your next ceremony.

The pride of healthy kelply bays

Is slow-grown Abalone.


A sacred bounty of the sea,

Much prized by the Ohlone,

May you survive eternally,

Oh noble Abalone!