My friends, I bid you welcome to our “farm to wallet” restaurant.
The menu’s overpriced, but it is written in a festive font,
Our produce is all local ‘cause we source it from the parking lot,
The service is a joke, but all the servers here are smokin’ hot.
Our owner-chef’s philosophy is “therapy meets creperie”,
His plates are all squash-blossomy, and often match the drapery,
He used to work in tech so there’s a smart chip in your petit four,
That links up to the net so he can monitor your credit score.
The seafood in our bisque is not just regional, its seasonal,
we order it from Sysco every season then we freeze it all,
And here’s a little warning when you order from our sommelier,
Don’t tell him to pick something that’s fruit-forward or he’ll runaway!
Our special for this evening is a little bit of flaky salt,
The chef forgot the other thing, his agent quit, it’s not his fault,
He’s opening a restaurant in Vegas so he’s there a lot,
They serve a chicken breast implant, it’s great, but people stare a lot.
So if your named as part of someone’s final will and testament,
Or seen your startup through to the next round of its investa-ments,
Then maybe you’ve an appetite and it’s a bite of cress you want?,
My friends, I bid you welcome to our “farm to wallet” restaurant.
