Catastrophic Diet


In her new cookbook Catastrophic Cuisine, author, life-coach and licensed cosmetologist Crystal Lipkin defines the ethos of her Catastrophic Diet as “a commitment among globally-conscious carnivores to only consume animals that have voluntarily ended their own lives or perished as part of a mass-extinction, climate-related, or other environmentally catastrophic event.”


According to Lipkin, Catastrophism is more than a diet. “It’s a mission. It’s about getting the edge, seizing opportunities and experiencing environmental devastation with a sense of fun, independence, and personal style!”

Lipkin, whose culinary vision is to transform her followers into “The climate survivor you were meant to be!” seems to have struck a deep chord with her readers. Thousands of catastrophic diners are now flocking to attend her popular Harm to Table events held at the sites of mass-beachings, sudden die-offs, and industrial accidents involving wildlife.

At one recent Pasture Hospice, Lipkin and a group of cutting-edge Catastrophists accompanied a large herd of Bison as they grazed dangerously close to the edge of sheer cliffs “just in case they felt the urge to self-harvest.”

“It was an awesome experience.”, Lipkin tweeted,” made even more impressive by intense Retro Death Metal music and lots and lots of fireworks!”