Song of the Server


My friends I bid you welcome to our “farm to wallet” restaurant
The menu’s overpriced but it is written in a festive font
Our produce is all local ‘cause we source it from the parking lot
The service is a joke, but all the servers here are smokin’ hot
Our owner-chef’s philosophy is “therapy meets creperie”
His plates are all squash-blossomy and often match the drapery
He used to work in tech so there’s a smart chip in your petit four
That links up to the net so he can monitor your credit score
The seafood in the bisque, though it’s not regional, is seasonal
We order it from Sysco every season then we freeze it all
And here’s a little warning when you order from our sommelier
Don’t tell him to pick something that’s fruit-forward or he’ll runaway
Our special for this evening is a little bit of flaky salt
The chef forgot the other thing, his agent quit, it’s not his fault
He’s opening a restaurant in Vegas, so he’s there a lot
They serve a chicken breast implant, it’s great, but people stare a lot
So if your named as part of someone’s final will and testament
Or seen your startup through to the next round of its investa-ments
Then maybe you’ve an appetite and it’s a bite of cress you want
My friends I bid you welcome to our “farm to wallet” restaurant