Diets of the Poets


Did Tu Fu like Tofu?
Did Li Po like Congee?
Or was Bao his go to
If he got the munchies?

Did Basho like Miso,
All fragrant and steamy?
Did Issa like Shiso
Beside his sashimi?

Did Homer eat fruit on
The wine-dark Agean?
Did Ovid eat gluten
Was Virgil a vegan?

Lucretious get speechless
About Provolone?
Did Petrarch love peaches
With sweet Mascarpone?

Did Milton eat Stilton
Or Chaucer eat Chesire?
Did Dante eat Conte
On his French adventures?

Did the Bard eat Swiss Chard
Down in Stratford on Avon?
Or is that a canard
And in fact it was Bacon?

Verlaine, Quiche Lorraine
and Michaux, Cote de Veau?
Baudelaire Camembert
and Rimbaud Brie de Meaux?

Did Rilke pour milk
Over his bowl of Meusli?
Did Heine drink wine if
not nightly, then usually?

Did Pushkin get pushy
About his Pelmeni?
Nor Lermontov share some of
His borscht, not any?

Did John Keats love Pomme Frites;
Lord Byron Ceviche?
Did Shelley love deli
Did Wordsworth eat pizza?

Did Yeats enjoy dates
Oscar Wilde an espresso?
Tennyson venison;
Ed Poe his Pesto?

Dickenson stickybuns;
Longfellow jello?
Whitman, just sipping on
Cold Limoncello?

Now I’ll close I suppose, that’s enough, I’m confessing
Who ate what no one knows,they have left us all guessing.

Not a balladeer breathes that’ll gainsay my doggerel!
Find it all unbelievable? Well, perhaps some food-blogger will!

Song of the Server



My friends I bid you welcome to our “farm to wallet” restaurant
The menu’s overpriced but it is written in a festive font
Our produce is all local ‘cause we source it from the parking lot
The service is a joke, but all the servers here are smokin’ hot
Our owner-chef’s philosophy is “therapy meets creperie”
His plates are all squash-blossomy and often match the drapery
He used to work in tech so there’s a smart chip in your petit four
That links up to the net so he can monitor your credit score
The seafood in the bisque, though it’s not regional, is seasonal
We order it from Sysco every season then we freeze it all
And here’s a little warning when you order from our sommelier
Don’t tell him to pick something that’s fruit-forward or he’ll runaway
Our special for this evening is a little bit of flaky salt
The chef forgot the other thing, his agent quit, it’s not his fault
He’s opening a restaurant in Vegas, so he’s there a lot
They serve a chicken breast implant, it’s great, but people stare a lot
So if your named as part of someone’s final will and testament
Or seen your startup through to the next round of its investa-ments
Then maybe you’ve an appetite and it’s a bite of cress you want
My friends I bid you welcome to our “farm to wallet” restaurant