Catastrophic Cuisine

 In her popular new cookbook Catastrophic Cuisine, author, life-coach, and licensed cosmetologist Crystal Lipkin defines her Catastrophic Diet as “a commitment among globally-conscious carnivores to only consume animals that have voluntarily ended their own lives or perished as part of a climate-related mass-extinction, or other environmentally catastrophic event.” 

According to Lipkin, Catastrophism is far more than a diet. “It’s a mission. It’s a lifestyle. It’s about getting the edge, seizing opportunities, and experiencing environmental devastation with a sense of fun, convenience, and personal style!”

Lipkin’s apocalyptic culinary message “Be the Climate survivor you were truly meant to be!”, has struck a chord with the catastrophic diners who eagerly attend various Harm to Table events held at the sites of mass-beachings, sudden die-offs, and industrial accidents involving wildlife around the globe.

At one recent event, Lipkin led a group of excited Catastrophists to observe a herd of wild bison whoe were grazing precariously close to the edge of cliffs “just in case they felt the urge to self-harvest!”.

“An awesome experience!”, Lipkin later tweeted, “Made all the more impressive by super-intense retro Death Metal music, and lots and lots of fireworks!”